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Transcript
Panel 1:
Bart Simpson: Ahhh! Sideshow Bob!
Homer Simpson: Okay now, Bob... I'd be a bad parent if I just let you murder Bart right here in Krusty Burger.
We should at least go outside first.
Sideshow Bob: Mr. Simpson, you wound me. Your young rapscallion and I have had our run-ins for certain.
But I have other priorities this day. I am here to redress the activities of these unexpected visitors to our society.
Panel 2:
Commander Dale Zurkett: I assume you mean us. So what is this? Are you the boss? What's going on here? Where's the Potemkin and her crew? I want some answers!
TRACK: I get you. Let's keep it real and do our best to chill the vibe.
Lieutenant Commander Natashia Staratt: Your voice just changed again. Please explain.
TRACK: Oh, this is my standard out-of-character voice. I'm afraid I have to puppet an avatar if I want to interact physically. Ha ha!
Panel 3:
Dale: Puppet an avatar? Do you mean... you're a computer, aren't you?
What are you doing here?
Commodore Jeffrey Bannister (aside): So wait... this Sideshow Bob character is bad news?
Zack Del Rio (aside): He's tried to kill Bart Simpson repeatedly, yes.
Jeff (aside): That's the weird kid with the cactus on his head, right?
TRACK: I am T.R.A.C.K. Your tested Rapport Analysis Computation Kit!
Per protocol, I have been assigned the role of maintaining the proper happiness quotient for all those under my jurisdiction.
Natashia (aside): Dale... I can detect two distinct brainwave patterns. One of them could be a computer.
Dale (aside): Understood.
Dale: Happiness quotient?
Panel 4:
Dale: Wait... do you mean this... TV show? Your job is to provide entertainment?
TRACK: I provide specially curated entertainment value for all registered users!
Recently, I have detected a large number of unregistered users entering my service area. Are you ready to register, Mr. Zurkett?
Dale: Register for what, exactly?
Panel 5:
Jeff: Oh, is it like our holodeck? You simulate entertainment and we get to interact with it?
TRACK: I add new expansion packs all the time per user feedback, Mr. Bannister! Are you ready to subscribe? I have an ideal opening for you.
Jeff: For me?
TRACK: Recently, several openings for recurring characters have opened in four different expansion areas! Dunder-Mifflin, Tool Time, and Central Perk.
Jeff: What's the fourth area?
TRACK: Oops, you caught me! That's only three. I miscounted.
My informational accuracy is more reliable for full subscribers. Are you ready to subscribe?
Jeff: Sounds like I'd better go ahead. yes.
Panel 6:
Dale: Sir, what the hell are you doing?
Jeff: We need more information, don't we, Dale? And I'm sure it's not too pricey.
Dale: Price?! Sir, I don't think that you--
TRACK: Welcome to your paid T.R.A.C.K. account! Terms and Conditions are now being uploaded to your brain. (Subject to local transfer speeds.)
And for you free users: I'm always here if you want to chat. Let's keep that cool vibe going. And subscrbe now for full access!
Panel 7:
Dale (aside): Maybe he's right? If it's just some giant holodeck... maybe we've been panicking over nothing.
Natashia (aside): On the contrary, Commander. We are in incredibly grave danger.
TRACK: Come, Mr. Bannister, and we shall find the best fit for you.
Jeff: Sounds like fun!
TRACK: Oh, it will be.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
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